This weekend me and my family went to the original OKTOBERFEST in München! After school on Friday me and my family rushed around the house to make sure we had everything, and after eating a whole pizza, and 2 glasses of 3,5% Milk (My host family doesn't believe in non-fat), we all crammed into the car and headed off to Dresden. In Dresden we picked up my host dad who was working there, and then we drove for a couple hours until we stopped for dinner in a typical Bavarian restaurant in a typical Bavarian town with cobblestone streets and those German-looking houses with the X's on them (I forgot what it's called). My host parents are very proud to be Bavarian and they know a lot about Bavarian dialects, history, and of course FOOD! So anyways, after some Wiener Schnitzel and Bavarian tap we drove a few more hours to a friends house in a town right outside of München (Munich). The whole trip was about 6 hours and it was not bad at all... however it is a little overwhelming to be stuck in a car with non-stop German all around for 6 hours.

The next morning all of us headed into München to go to Oktoberfest. I spent most of the day with my host brother and his friend Henning, and we had a great time! First we just walked around for a while... there were SOOOO many people! Its really hard to describe! Then we went into one of those HUGE beers tents... but naturally it was full, so we left and tried getting into another one, and we ended up having to wait in line for a while but we finally got into a tent! Naturally, that tent was full as well, but we managed to find room at a table and yeah... we were there in that tent, at that table, for the entire day! It was really fun, really loud, really... GERMAN! A little bit overwhelming, but fun non-the-less. After the tent closed we went and ate at a restaurant and then went home to sleep.










The next morning we said goodbye to our hosts and drove about an hour south east of München to one of the most beutiful towns I have ever seen. (The most beutiful one I have seen in Europe so far). The town was called Tegernsee, and it was situated right on the edge of the Alps with a
big lake right in the center. We all ate lunch at another Bavarian restaurant overlooking the town, and it was really beautiful!



The ride back to Berlin was a little bit tough for me. Not only was I tired from the day before, but for some reason I just was not feeling myself. I was listening to my Ipod about 4 hours into the journey and all the sudden I came across some songs that really reminded me of home. It was so weird because emotion just hit me all of the sudden, and tears just came to my eyes. I put a sweatshirt over my head and pretended I was sleeping... but I on/off cried for a good 30 minutes. It was unreal! I still can't really say exactly why I cried... I wasn't homesick... I was just missing certain things- like eating dinner with my family and understanding everything, and chilling at the Molly Meier' house with my friends (***cough cough*** shoutout to the girl who know how to twirl, that fine thang who goes bang bang, and the laday who drives me crazay... haha I couldn't find anything that rhymed with lady... I miss you... really!!!) ! It's really hard to explain. Anyways... enough of that! I have it so good here so I shouldn't complain.

I guess I'm just learning that I can't do everything! I have limits, and I really need to lower the bar for myself. Before I thought I could do anything on my own. I only depended on myself and the reason why I seldom trusted someone to "get the job done"was because I had too much pride...I now realize that I'm only 16. Like I said before, I can't do everything! I'm a human being.

Well, I think I've written enough! This has been quite a week! The elections were yesterday and the Conservative party won... so all the people in my school are happy! My German has gotten tremendously better! I can understand more than 50% of what people are saying in normal conversations... and I normally can answer a question if someone asks me something! School is still very difficult to understand but I know what what's going on in every class. My grammar is still very bad (the articles der,die, das, den, dem... I guess every time)... but I can get the point across.

this metaphor defines my life right now,

"Foreign exchange is an emotional rollercoaster"

I have been here for exactly one month. crazy. So much has happened in this month, I have no words to describe. I feel like I am already so different than from when I came. I've learned so much, and have had so much fun. Of course exchange isn't just fun and games. This month has been so tiring and new and tough and aggrivating, but at the same time so amazing. I feel everyday I am growing- it is insane. I can see now that deciding to go on exchange was the best idea/whim I have ever had. It was and is the "thing" that I alway have been looking for. I always felt that something was missing, and that I should be DOING something other than what everyone else was doing in American high school. I am feeling so grateful to rotary for giving me the opportunity to go on exchange without charging insane amounts of money, to my family for allowing me go on exchange and putting their trust in me, to my counselor at school for actually incouraging me to go on exhange and not being a huge "you-know-what" like other exchange student's counselors are, and to my friends back home for just understanding what this means to me.

Well I have a lot of of time of my hands right now because believe it or not I am home from school- SICK! I don't have anything really bad, just my throat is sore, my sinises are a bit inflamed, and my head hurts, but it's nothing serious. I was planning on just missing gym first hour and going to my next class at 11, but my host mom excused me from the whole day. I'm not complaining.

Since I have so much time I'll tell all of you guys about the first inbound orientation we had this weekend (AKA- where I picked up this cold). Here it goes....


This weekend all of the exchange students in distrikt 1940 went to the first inbound orientation in Neuruppin. Neuruppin is a small town of about 30,000 people, and is an hour or so north-west of Berlin. It's a very pretty town, with lots of water, and a lot of history having to do with Prussian kings. I'm not really sure why the orientation takes place there every year... but it was cool nontheless.

-this is kind of how the town looked like-

-The big church in Neuruppin-

On Friday all 40+ of us arrived periodically throughout the afternoon. My host mom drove me, and after I got everything situated I ended up finding some exchange students playing volleyball. It was the most awkward way to meet people because we all made short little greetings and then proceeded to play a really lousy game of volleyball. Things got way better when the last busload of exchange students arrived and we all started to mingle and get to know eachother. We traded pins for our blazers and give eachother our cards. It was really overwhelmeing because there were so many new people and I didn't know what to do or who to talk to. Also, the rotary people were MIA so we all just ended up wandering around for a while until we figured out we were having dinner. After dinner we all just chilled and got to know eachother at the hostel (which was on a lake by the way). It was a bummer though because Kate, the australian exchange student/best friend/sister/mentor/amazing person, only could stay for a few hours because she had to go to London with her school. Sad for me. Exciting for her!

The next day we took a tour of the town and afterwards got to hang out there for basically the entire day. It was a really nice time to just chill and enjoy eachothers company and have some free time. I like free time a lot! I hate having to follow tour guides around and stay in one big group for a long period of time. It gets super old... really fast.

So I ended up walking around with 3 other exchange students and we hung out with one another for a good portion of the orientation. (me, another american, a canadian, and a mexican... THING 1-2-3 and 4! wooo North America) Since there are SO many exchange students... it's a little hard to hang out with EVERYONE all the time... so yeah, the four of us were a good group! It was super chill and it wasn't too loud or crazy. If there's one one thing I hate, it's when there's too big of a group and everyone is competing to get the most attention... I found out that that happens really easily with exchange students because we all talk a lot... well most of us.

So we all got döner (an amazing blend of Turkish and German tastiness), and we got ice cream, and then we got some delicious eclairs, and then we ate lunch. (I'm becoming a pro at eating... prepare for a much bigger Ben when I come back) At lunch we listened to a presentation that was said in German, then translated to English, then translated to Spanish. It was a little boring because It was a bit repetative... but that isn't really something I should be complaining about. We got some basic info about Germany and our exchange here... same-old same-old. The exciting news was about our trips this year! In November it is mandatory that all of us go to the next inbound conference in PARIS! We'll all drive there in a bus and I'm pretty PUMPED! Our rotary clubs here are supposed to help us pay for it and it's cheeper than I thought it would be... (only 250€) In April is oue Euro-tour! Its for about 2 weeks and I really hope that I can go! All of the exchange students who have been on one say it is the best weeks of their life and that even though it is expenisive it is worth every single penny. Speaking of money... I havn't really been spending much of it here. My rotary club hasn't given me any money yet because they are having problems with my bank account. I really should ask to get the money because it's close to the end of the month... but I have like 40€ right now... and the only only time I spend money is when I'm at the movies or eating out with exchange students. I don't have anything I HAVE to buy... havn't bought any clothes, or really anything. I'm really glad I brought a lot of clothes because contrary to what Rotary said... I wear everything I brought! I don't look any different than anyone else here and the clothes I brought are just fine! I will be needing a few things in the next couple of months like a few more jeans and a few winter shirts, but to any outbounds reading this... If you don't spend a ton of money in your home country, chances are you won't have to spend a lot of money in your host country. My host parents cover necessities, and I don't really need anything else.

Back to Saturday... I can't really remember the order that everything happened, but we saw some old German cars, and played some crazy improv games... and yeah it was a good day. For dinner we all went to this cool building that was a cross between a barn, a rec room, a bar, and a meeting center... It was chill. We all ate some barbecue and hung out more- Danced a little bit. The cool thing about exchange students is that just hanging out... doesnt really get old. We all find stuff to do and it doesn't really get boring. Back at the hostel I listened to some crazy improvs people were doing... but I wasn't feeling very well so I couldn't participate. I had an... interesting night sleep, and it was Sunday morning before I knew it.

It was a GREAT weekend as a whole, but it had a very different over-all feeling than the orientations and conferences back home. However, the one paralell I found is that no matter what country you're in, you will feel like shit after a rotary youth exchange conference. You spend a weekend with amazing people that understand you completely, and are going through the same thing as you are, and are feeling the same emotions you are feeling, then afterwards...WHAM... reality hits like a baseball bat.... and you are sleep deprived, which isn't so much fun.

Since it was such a fun and amazing weekend, obviously something BAD had to happen to someone! (That's just how life seems to work hahaha) As fate would have it, the bad thing happened to me :( (Lindsay... prepare yourself... ) My beautiful camera... that has captured SO many moments... is as the German's say... "KAPUT." It was in the inside pocket of my jacket and when we went to get eclairs at the bakery, I took off my jacket and it fell to the cobblestone sidewalk. The screen didn't break, and it charges and transfers my photos to the computer, but it DOESN'T TURN ON! This really is a huge bummer that this happened so early in my exchange, because I really want to capture the moments I have... So I'm going to first talk with my host dad and see If he knows if it can be repaired ( I think he works with the company it is made from )... and If It doesn't get repaired I will scope out where I can buy a new one. I'll be sure to take pictures with a family camera next weekend when I go to München for Oktoberfest.


Thats all I got for now folks... This week we have a short day tomorrow or thursday I can't remember, and we have a "sports day" on Wednesday. I only have to be at school for 2 hours or so to help with one of the events. Overall it should be a pretty low-stress week. I'm really looking forward to München! Should be a lot of fun.



-Candid exchange student moment-

-meet thing 1,2,3... and 4 (thats me)-

-My favorite car at the car show-

-Distrikt 1940-

I think I dreamt in German last night.

I really think I did!

... it wasn't like a dream with a story or anything but it was more like me in a semi-conscious state and my mind was going off in German. I didn't know exactly what I was saying... It kind of was like hearing a bunch of people speaking German words I don't know in my head, but it was MY own voice saying them! Hmmm.... so does this count as my first dream in German???

... In other news...

-I forgot to inform everyone that last monday I went to the foreigner office and obtained my Alien Residence Permit. I had to wait in the office for nearly five hours and me and my host mom were sent from office to office to office, and they were really mean, but I HAVE it now! My host mom fought so hard!


Tomorrow is some Catholic holiday so instead of going to school... I have to go to church... and THEN I have to go to school! Woopie for me- double the fun!

Get ready for a montage of blog posts. I never had the time to actually sit down and write a complete post this week, but I manage to record tid-bits at different times and now I'm putting them all together! So... this may not make a lot of sense... and it's a bit repetative, but bear with me.


Post #1: When I wake up to the automatic shades at 6.30 every morning I'm not suprised to hear, "Guten Morgen Ben, hast Du gut geshlafen?" When I think of my room I think of yellow walls, a white couch, and a little balcony that overlooks a parking lot. When I think of home I see a yellow house with a triangular roof, small garden, and two cars parked underneath an outdoor garage-overhang. Bread, cheese, and meat make up my main diet...and are normal for me at every meal. People speaking a foreign tongue around me doesn't sound like muddled sounds anymore. I recognize words now, and for some odd reason they just start to make sense even though I havn't looked them up. Having a difficult time trying to communicate is just a part of life now. I'm not sure what language I'm thinking in... right now it isn't really anything. My mind is very confused so I usually think without words. Most of all, I finally have a sense of direction. I know that bus 181 takes me directly home and if I miss that, I can take the M44 and that will take me a few bocks away. I remember saying right when I got here, "I can't wait untill I know where I am and how to get home" NOW I CAN! :)


Post #2: I just realized that I have all of the subway stops memorized from my house untill I get off at Kochstraße for school ... cool?

Post #3: I'm really obsessed with Owl City. I listen to them the 45 minutes to school, 45 minutes back from school! I usually get super sick of bands really quick, but I've been listening to them straight for over a month!!! I think whenever I hear a song by them in the future, I'm definately going to think about Berlin... and riding on buses\subways.

Post #4: MY BRAIN IS SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW!!! I sit through German classes, then I have French, then I start thinking in English! Then I start to mix all of them up and I start to see pictures because I don't know which languge to use!!! I just want to to KNOW GERMAN! ehh! Everything is getting so jumbled up together and I feel so stupid in classes because I can't answer questions! I hate not being able to laugh at jokes or contribute to discussions.

Post #5: I just realized today that I'm totally a different person here. I am... quiet. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very extroverted. I'm not afraid to try to answer questions or make friends, but my voice has gotten so much quieter. Its strange. I have been told at least 10 times to speak up because I'm speaking so quiet. When I do speak in English it is with simpler words... and it sounds like someone else is saying the words. ehh... I have no idea what is going on... maybe its self-discovery. What I do know is that the Ben Mau in Germany is NOT the Ben Mau in America. AT ALL!!! I really don't know which one is me or which one I like better. I'm trying to be myself but I'm not really sure what myself is.... hmm...

Post #6: My host mom just called me and we had an entire conversation in GERMAN! wooo! It was 3 or so minutes long!!! She didn't transfer over to English and neither did I! Sweet :)

Post #7: (*this is an excerpt from my notebook*) I'm actually sitting in Biologie class right now and its super boring so I thought I might as well make use of time and write a little about whats going on. I've been here for just over three weeks now, and I still am absolutely loving it. I think it's safe to say that I'm settled in. I have a routine I do every morning: I wake up, take a shower, get dressed, go downstairs and eat some bread, then I pack some more bread for school, then I have an expresso (because I dont have time to drink a whole coffee but I still need the caffine), then I brush my teeth, grab my things, and head off to school.

Speaking of school... I've been trying really hard all week to understand what is going on, and I usually get the jist of it, but I've resorted to drawing pictures alllll over my notebook in the classes that I'm absolutely clueless in (aka-Deutsch, Biologie, Chemie, Physik und Religion). If you think I'm slacking... I'd like you to try sitting through one! The teacher just wrote, "Einfluss des Bluzuckspiegels Blulzucker: Traulenzucher." on the board....... What DOES THAT MEAN! It doesn't help that I can't even read half of what the teachers writing!!!

Other than sitting through super boring science classes, I've been having success in my English Class! Right now we're talking about family relationships and writing mini newspaper articles about people abandoning babies. My advanced English teacher is still sick, so I havn't yet had that class. French is another class that is going well! I AM LEARNING SO MUCH... SO FAST- the reason why it's so much faster here is because everybody in the class takes it seriously and they actually WANT to learn the language!!!!I have five hours of it ever week and it is very interesting. My teacher is kind of strict but he is VERY VERY good! It is a little bit difficult that I can't understaand the translations from French-German, and I also can't understand when he explains some concept in German... but he gave me an English-French dictionary. So all my questions are answered now??? haha!!! The class is veryd avanced as a whole. They know all of the tenses except for simple past, and also, the class isn't grammar based, but vocabulary based. We read stories with a bunch of new vocab in them and we have to learn every single word we don't know. Monday will be my first vocabulary quiz! It is pretty difficult stuff... and I'm not exacly sure how it is going to work because I only know the English-French translations. But I guess we'll just find out!

Mathe is another subject I understand pretty well. Right now were doing basic linear functions! Which is what I did in the 8th grade,! So its really easy material... but its all in German... so that kind of levels out the playing field... so its basically the same difficulty level as taking Algebra 3A at memorial! My art class is also really fun because its pretty self explanitory! Right now we are doing portraits of people in the class.

All in all, I really like school. The classes are super boring, but the people make up for it because they are so nice. I really like how there arn't cliques here like there are in America. I never realized how divided my school back home was until I came here. Sure there are different groups here in Germany, but at my school in the States the cliques are so defined! Everyone has a label and they arn't allowed to interact or sit with or eat with a person from another! Here... it is SO MUCH DIFFERENT! I see the most diverse people hanging out with oneanother, and its totally cool for people to like chill with certain people on day, and other people the next!

As far as langauge goes, It's coming along... I guess. It's still really hard to communicate, and I still can't understand a ton of stuff people say, but I usually get the jist of conversations. I really have a lot of luck because most of the students at my school only talk to me in German, and when someone tries to talk to me in English they say, "NEIN... Er muß Deutsch lernen" (He needs to learn German) My host parents talk to me in German unless I ask them to explain in English. The only person who usually speaks to me in English is my host brother... It kind of a neccesity because we hang out a lot and my German is super limited, so we speak in mostly English so we can communicate. However, to make up for speaking English I ask him a kajillion times how to say certain things in German... We both agreed that when my German starts to get better we will only speak in German!

... Well I'd better get back to Biologie class. Only 15 more minutes!!! After this I have 2 hours Mathe, 1 hour Physik! ehhh... so BORING! I hate Fridays!!!


Post #8: hahaha... I just found out today that basically all of the male-teachers at my school are gay! hahaha- I love it... especially because its a catholic school (I guess the stereotype is true). life is good.

Post #9: I havn't been to church in a while and to tell you the truth I don't miss it. I'm kind of sick of organized religion in general... I'm also really sick of seeing crosses with deformed jesus' on them in every single classroom I sit in, and watching the students chanting their prayer to jesus or mary or god knows who every morning... It looks, feels, and smells like a game to me. I don't want anyone back home to be afraid now that I'm like "walking in the darkness" because I'm not going to church, and I'm having these feelings about religion, but I'm just putting it out there. To be honest, I feel better than I've felt in a very, very, very, long time. I feel very free. I feel like I'm not judged by people around me.

Like I said before- have no fear, I have sooooo much Christian doctrine drilled into me its impossible to forget it. I know the story, I know the descisions one must make, I know what everyone says... I just have to live right now, stop worrying about religion, and start doing things that actual matter- like building relationships with real, living, breathing people around me...


Post #10: Tonight I'm just chilling in the house with my host brother. My parents are out of town until tomorrow and they don't want us roaming around town. Thats totally cool with me... I don't mind just hanging out. Tomorrow I'm meeting with a friend from school for a few hours, then later tomorrow night I'm going to a party with my host brother. I'll probably just chill on Sunday too! I need to translate some homework and study for my French quiz. I don't want to be the exchange student who goes on exchange for the sole purpose of not having to do school work. I want to do the best I can... I'm weird.


Well this post has been pretty long! Its taken me 2-3 hours to write. A little tooo long. A little too deep! But I really don't care what people back home, or what people here think about me. I am done worrying about that and keeping so many things pent up inside of me. In Madison I was confined to a little mold because I was so scared about what everyone around me would think... I only told a few people what I was really feeling. I'm just making the first step of breaking out of that mold and trying to find out who I am, and what I'm supposed to do in life. So I guess... read more and find out what happens???

My life is a situational comedy.



... and now- random pictures

Today was my REAL first day of school. Thats is, I actually needed to do work. In the Morning I took he bus, subway, then another bus to get to school. On the 2nd bus I saw this girl who is in my class and we tried talked a little bit (She doesn't speak English). At School I had German, then two hours of English Profilkurse (Main study). I was really suprised at how difficult the course was. We read a British prose piece that was even confusing for me! We went over terms like Point of View, Narrator, and Perspective. It was so nice to be able to speak in English and understand everything the teacher was saying. Many students in the class were very good at English... nearly fluent! I was very impressed.

After English I went to 2 hours of religion! I was expecting it to be super boring... and really bible-y and just not fun! But yet again I was wrong. The students in my class were split up into 2 groups, one Catholic and the other Protestant or Evangelical. I went with the Protestants and we went into this little tiny room (there were 8 of us), and we sat in this circle and talked not about religion, but philosophy. It was questions about life and really interesting stuff! I couldn't understand very much, but I raised my hand for the first time and managed to answer a question in German! WO! It was a very cool class! It didn't seem like school at all! It seemed like a conversation! I liked it alot.

After Religion I went to the office and waited in line to recieve a new schedule. I managed to get everything worked out and now I have all of the classes I need. On my new schedule I found out that I had 2 more hours of normal English (not profilkurse)... So I went to the classroom and sat through a much easier English course. DOn't get me wrong, the people in the basic course were really good at English... much better then we are with our languages in American high school. Basically we had to hold up picture out of a magazine and explain what is there and why we picked it. That is all! Yup... so thats it for today. After school I went with my host mom to the bank and we opened up a German bank account for my Rotary allowance. It was very difficult for my host parents to find a bank that was willing to open one for me so I am very grateful to them.

Now I'm just sitting here in my room. A little tired from the day. This exchange is very exciting for me at the moment. I feel as if I'm actually learning life lessons... I'm learning so much about myself, German culture, and human interaction.... It's SO exciting.

Most exciting of all I think is learning the German language. Today when I was sitting through religion class my brain had a little meltdown. It was so confused... but in a good way. It was hearing the foreign words come out of the teachers mouth and it was trying to make sense of it... I felt little axles in my head spinning and slowly I felt my brain start to transfer over to German. It was unreal! The little step is merely the beginning for grasping the German language, but I am determined to learn this language!

New Schedule
Monday: sports, free, free, history, german, basic french.
Tuesday: german, advanced english, advanced english, religion, religion, basic english, basic english.
Wednesday: math, advanced french, advanced french, phisics, german, sports, free.
Thursday: history, art, art, chemistry, chemistry, basic french, basic french.
Friday: basic english, biology, biology, math, math, physics, free.

There's a rumor going around that my advanced English teacher will be gone for 3 months... there's no such thing as substitutes here. haha! I love Germany.