Get ready for a montage of blog posts. I never had the time to actually sit down and write a complete post this week, but I manage to record tid-bits at different times and now I'm putting them all together! So... this may not make a lot of sense... and it's a bit repetative, but bear with me.
Post #1: When I wake up to the automatic shades at 6.30 every morning I'm not suprised to hear, "Guten Morgen Ben, hast Du gut geshlafen?" When I think of my room I think of yellow walls, a white couch, and a little balcony that overlooks a parking lot. When I think of home I see a yellow house with a triangular roof, small garden, and two cars parked underneath an outdoor garage-overhang. Bread, cheese, and meat make up my main diet...and are normal for me at every meal. People speaking a foreign tongue around me doesn't sound like muddled sounds anymore. I recognize words now, and for some odd reason they just start to make sense even though I havn't looked them up. Having a difficult time trying to communicate is just a part of life now. I'm not sure what language I'm thinking in... right now it isn't really anything. My mind is very confused so I usually think without words. Most of all, I finally have a sense of direction. I know that bus 181 takes me directly home and if I miss that, I can take the M44 and that will take me a few bocks away. I remember saying right when I got here, "I can't wait untill I know where I am and how to get home" NOW I CAN! :)
Post #2: I just realized that I have all of the subway stops memorized from my house untill I get off at Kochstraße for school ... cool?
Post #3: I'm really obsessed with Owl City. I listen to them the 45 minutes to school, 45 minutes back from school! I usually get super sick of bands really quick, but I've been listening to them straight for over a month!!! I think whenever I hear a song by them in the future, I'm definately going to think about Berlin... and riding on buses\subways.
Post #4: MY BRAIN IS SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW!!! I sit through German classes, then I have French, then I start thinking in English! Then I start to mix all of them up and I start to see pictures because I don't know which languge to use!!! I just want to to KNOW GERMAN! ehh! Everything is getting so jumbled up together and I feel so stupid in classes because I can't answer questions! I hate not being able to laugh at jokes or contribute to discussions.
Post #5: I just realized today that I'm totally a different person here. I am... quiet. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very extroverted. I'm not afraid to try to answer questions or make friends, but my voice has gotten so much quieter. Its strange. I have been told at least 10 times to speak up because I'm speaking so quiet. When I do speak in English it is with simpler words... and it sounds like someone else is saying the words. ehh... I have no idea what is going on... maybe its self-discovery. What I do know is that the Ben Mau in Germany is NOT the Ben Mau in America. AT ALL!!! I really don't know which one is me or which one I like better. I'm trying to be myself but I'm not really sure what myself is.... hmm...
Post #6: My host mom just called me and we had an entire conversation in GERMAN! wooo! It was 3 or so minutes long!!! She didn't transfer over to English and neither did I! Sweet :)
Post #7: (*this is an excerpt from my notebook*) I'm actually sitting in Biologie class right now and its super boring so I thought I might as well make use of time and write a little about whats going on. I've been here for just over three weeks now, and I still am absolutely loving it. I think it's safe to say that I'm settled in. I have a routine I do every morning: I wake up, take a shower, get dressed, go downstairs and eat some bread, then I pack some more bread for school, then I have an expresso (because I dont have time to drink a whole coffee but I still need the caffine), then I brush my teeth, grab my things, and head off to school.
Speaking of school... I've been trying really hard all week to understand what is going on, and I usually get the jist of it, but I've resorted to drawing pictures alllll over my notebook in the classes that I'm absolutely clueless in (aka-Deutsch, Biologie, Chemie, Physik und Religion). If you think I'm slacking... I'd like you to try sitting through one! The teacher just wrote, "Einfluss des Bluzuckspiegels Blulzucker: Traulenzucher." on the board....... What DOES THAT MEAN! It doesn't help that I can't even read half of what the teachers writing!!!
Other than sitting through super boring science classes, I've been having success in my English Class! Right now we're talking about family relationships and writing mini newspaper articles about people abandoning babies. My advanced English teacher is still sick, so I havn't yet had that class. French is another class that is going well! I AM LEARNING SO MUCH... SO FAST- the reason why it's so much faster here is because everybody in the class takes it seriously and they actually WANT to learn the language!!!!I have five hours of it ever week and it is very interesting. My teacher is kind of strict but he is VERY VERY good! It is a little bit difficult that I can't understaand the translations from French-German, and I also can't understand when he explains some concept in German... but he gave me an English-French dictionary. So all my questions are answered now??? haha!!! The class is veryd avanced as a whole. They know all of the tenses except for simple past, and also, the class isn't grammar based, but vocabulary based. We read stories with a bunch of new vocab in them and we have to learn every single word we don't know. Monday will be my first vocabulary quiz! It is pretty difficult stuff... and I'm not exacly sure how it is going to work because I only know the English-French translations. But I guess we'll just find out!
Mathe is another subject I understand pretty well. Right now were doing basic linear functions! Which is what I did in the 8th grade,! So its really easy material... but its all in German... so that kind of levels out the playing field... so its basically the same difficulty level as taking Algebra 3A at memorial! My art class is also really fun because its pretty self explanitory! Right now we are doing portraits of people in the class.
All in all, I really like school. The classes are super boring, but the people make up for it because they are so nice. I really like how there arn't cliques here like there are in America. I never realized how divided my school back home was until I came here. Sure there are different groups here in Germany, but at my school in the States the cliques are so defined! Everyone has a label and they arn't allowed to interact or sit with or eat with a person from another! Here... it is SO MUCH DIFFERENT! I see the most diverse people hanging out with oneanother, and its totally cool for people to like chill with certain people on day, and other people the next!
As far as langauge goes, It's coming along... I guess. It's still really hard to communicate, and I still can't understand a ton of stuff people say, but I usually get the jist of conversations. I really have a lot of luck because most of the students at my school only talk to me in German, and when someone tries to talk to me in English they say, "NEIN... Er muß Deutsch lernen" (He needs to learn German) My host parents talk to me in German unless I ask them to explain in English. The only person who usually speaks to me in English is my host brother... It kind of a neccesity because we hang out a lot and my German is super limited, so we speak in mostly English so we can communicate. However, to make up for speaking English I ask him a kajillion times how to say certain things in German... We both agreed that when my German starts to get better we will only speak in German!
... Well I'd better get back to Biologie class. Only 15 more minutes!!! After this I have 2 hours Mathe, 1 hour Physik! ehhh... so BORING! I hate Fridays!!!
Post #8: hahaha... I just found out today that basically all of the male-teachers at my school are gay! hahaha- I love it... especially because its a catholic school (I guess the stereotype is true). life is good.
Post #9: I havn't been to church in a while and to tell you the truth I don't miss it. I'm kind of sick of organized religion in general... I'm also really sick of seeing crosses with deformed jesus' on them in every single classroom I sit in, and watching the students chanting their prayer to jesus or mary or god knows who every morning... It looks, feels, and smells like a game to me. I don't want anyone back home to be afraid now that I'm like "walking in the darkness" because I'm not going to church, and I'm having these feelings about religion, but I'm just putting it out there. To be honest, I feel better than I've felt in a very, very, very, long time. I feel very free. I feel like I'm not judged by people around me.
Like I said before- have no fear, I have sooooo much Christian doctrine drilled into me its impossible to forget it. I know the story, I know the descisions one must make, I know what everyone says... I just have to live right now, stop worrying about religion, and start doing things that actual matter- like building relationships with real, living, breathing people around me...
Post #10: Tonight I'm just chilling in the house with my host brother. My parents are out of town until tomorrow and they don't want us roaming around town. Thats totally cool with me... I don't mind just hanging out. Tomorrow I'm meeting with a friend from school for a few hours, then later tomorrow night I'm going to a party with my host brother. I'll probably just chill on Sunday too! I need to translate some homework and study for my French quiz. I don't want to be the exchange student who goes on exchange for the sole purpose of not having to do school work. I want to do the best I can... I'm weird.
Well this post has been pretty long! Its taken me 2-3 hours to write. A little tooo long. A little too deep! But I really don't care what people back home, or what people here think about me. I am done worrying about that and keeping so many things pent up inside of me. In Madison I was confined to a little mold because I was so scared about what everyone around me would think... I only told a few people what I was really feeling. I'm just making the first step of breaking out of that mold and trying to find out who I am, and what I'm supposed to do in life. So I guess... read more and find out what happens???
My life is a situational comedy.
... and now- random pictures
Post #1: When I wake up to the automatic shades at 6.30 every morning I'm not suprised to hear, "Guten Morgen Ben, hast Du gut geshlafen?" When I think of my room I think of yellow walls, a white couch, and a little balcony that overlooks a parking lot. When I think of home I see a yellow house with a triangular roof, small garden, and two cars parked underneath an outdoor garage-overhang. Bread, cheese, and meat make up my main diet...and are normal for me at every meal. People speaking a foreign tongue around me doesn't sound like muddled sounds anymore. I recognize words now, and for some odd reason they just start to make sense even though I havn't looked them up. Having a difficult time trying to communicate is just a part of life now. I'm not sure what language I'm thinking in... right now it isn't really anything. My mind is very confused so I usually think without words. Most of all, I finally have a sense of direction. I know that bus 181 takes me directly home and if I miss that, I can take the M44 and that will take me a few bocks away. I remember saying right when I got here, "I can't wait untill I know where I am and how to get home" NOW I CAN! :)
Post #2: I just realized that I have all of the subway stops memorized from my house untill I get off at Kochstraße for school ... cool?
Post #3: I'm really obsessed with Owl City. I listen to them the 45 minutes to school, 45 minutes back from school! I usually get super sick of bands really quick, but I've been listening to them straight for over a month!!! I think whenever I hear a song by them in the future, I'm definately going to think about Berlin... and riding on buses\subways.
Post #4: MY BRAIN IS SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW!!! I sit through German classes, then I have French, then I start thinking in English! Then I start to mix all of them up and I start to see pictures because I don't know which languge to use!!! I just want to to KNOW GERMAN! ehh! Everything is getting so jumbled up together and I feel so stupid in classes because I can't answer questions! I hate not being able to laugh at jokes or contribute to discussions.
Post #5: I just realized today that I'm totally a different person here. I am... quiet. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very extroverted. I'm not afraid to try to answer questions or make friends, but my voice has gotten so much quieter. Its strange. I have been told at least 10 times to speak up because I'm speaking so quiet. When I do speak in English it is with simpler words... and it sounds like someone else is saying the words. ehh... I have no idea what is going on... maybe its self-discovery. What I do know is that the Ben Mau in Germany is NOT the Ben Mau in America. AT ALL!!! I really don't know which one is me or which one I like better. I'm trying to be myself but I'm not really sure what myself is.... hmm...
Post #6: My host mom just called me and we had an entire conversation in GERMAN! wooo! It was 3 or so minutes long!!! She didn't transfer over to English and neither did I! Sweet :)
Post #7: (*this is an excerpt from my notebook*) I'm actually sitting in Biologie class right now and its super boring so I thought I might as well make use of time and write a little about whats going on. I've been here for just over three weeks now, and I still am absolutely loving it. I think it's safe to say that I'm settled in. I have a routine I do every morning: I wake up, take a shower, get dressed, go downstairs and eat some bread, then I pack some more bread for school, then I have an expresso (because I dont have time to drink a whole coffee but I still need the caffine), then I brush my teeth, grab my things, and head off to school.
Speaking of school... I've been trying really hard all week to understand what is going on, and I usually get the jist of it, but I've resorted to drawing pictures alllll over my notebook in the classes that I'm absolutely clueless in (aka-Deutsch, Biologie, Chemie, Physik und Religion). If you think I'm slacking... I'd like you to try sitting through one! The teacher just wrote, "Einfluss des Bluzuckspiegels Blulzucker: Traulenzucher." on the board....... What DOES THAT MEAN! It doesn't help that I can't even read half of what the teachers writing!!!
Other than sitting through super boring science classes, I've been having success in my English Class! Right now we're talking about family relationships and writing mini newspaper articles about people abandoning babies. My advanced English teacher is still sick, so I havn't yet had that class. French is another class that is going well! I AM LEARNING SO MUCH... SO FAST- the reason why it's so much faster here is because everybody in the class takes it seriously and they actually WANT to learn the language!!!!I have five hours of it ever week and it is very interesting. My teacher is kind of strict but he is VERY VERY good! It is a little bit difficult that I can't understaand the translations from French-German, and I also can't understand when he explains some concept in German... but he gave me an English-French dictionary. So all my questions are answered now??? haha!!! The class is veryd avanced as a whole. They know all of the tenses except for simple past, and also, the class isn't grammar based, but vocabulary based. We read stories with a bunch of new vocab in them and we have to learn every single word we don't know. Monday will be my first vocabulary quiz! It is pretty difficult stuff... and I'm not exacly sure how it is going to work because I only know the English-French translations. But I guess we'll just find out!
Mathe is another subject I understand pretty well. Right now were doing basic linear functions! Which is what I did in the 8th grade,! So its really easy material... but its all in German... so that kind of levels out the playing field... so its basically the same difficulty level as taking Algebra 3A at memorial! My art class is also really fun because its pretty self explanitory! Right now we are doing portraits of people in the class.
All in all, I really like school. The classes are super boring, but the people make up for it because they are so nice. I really like how there arn't cliques here like there are in America. I never realized how divided my school back home was until I came here. Sure there are different groups here in Germany, but at my school in the States the cliques are so defined! Everyone has a label and they arn't allowed to interact or sit with or eat with a person from another! Here... it is SO MUCH DIFFERENT! I see the most diverse people hanging out with oneanother, and its totally cool for people to like chill with certain people on day, and other people the next!
As far as langauge goes, It's coming along... I guess. It's still really hard to communicate, and I still can't understand a ton of stuff people say, but I usually get the jist of conversations. I really have a lot of luck because most of the students at my school only talk to me in German, and when someone tries to talk to me in English they say, "NEIN... Er muß Deutsch lernen" (He needs to learn German) My host parents talk to me in German unless I ask them to explain in English. The only person who usually speaks to me in English is my host brother... It kind of a neccesity because we hang out a lot and my German is super limited, so we speak in mostly English so we can communicate. However, to make up for speaking English I ask him a kajillion times how to say certain things in German... We both agreed that when my German starts to get better we will only speak in German!
... Well I'd better get back to Biologie class. Only 15 more minutes!!! After this I have 2 hours Mathe, 1 hour Physik! ehhh... so BORING! I hate Fridays!!!
Post #8: hahaha... I just found out today that basically all of the male-teachers at my school are gay! hahaha- I love it... especially because its a catholic school (I guess the stereotype is true). life is good.
Post #9: I havn't been to church in a while and to tell you the truth I don't miss it. I'm kind of sick of organized religion in general... I'm also really sick of seeing crosses with deformed jesus' on them in every single classroom I sit in, and watching the students chanting their prayer to jesus or mary or god knows who every morning... It looks, feels, and smells like a game to me. I don't want anyone back home to be afraid now that I'm like "walking in the darkness" because I'm not going to church, and I'm having these feelings about religion, but I'm just putting it out there. To be honest, I feel better than I've felt in a very, very, very, long time. I feel very free. I feel like I'm not judged by people around me.
Like I said before- have no fear, I have sooooo much Christian doctrine drilled into me its impossible to forget it. I know the story, I know the descisions one must make, I know what everyone says... I just have to live right now, stop worrying about religion, and start doing things that actual matter- like building relationships with real, living, breathing people around me...
Post #10: Tonight I'm just chilling in the house with my host brother. My parents are out of town until tomorrow and they don't want us roaming around town. Thats totally cool with me... I don't mind just hanging out. Tomorrow I'm meeting with a friend from school for a few hours, then later tomorrow night I'm going to a party with my host brother. I'll probably just chill on Sunday too! I need to translate some homework and study for my French quiz. I don't want to be the exchange student who goes on exchange for the sole purpose of not having to do school work. I want to do the best I can... I'm weird.
Well this post has been pretty long! Its taken me 2-3 hours to write. A little tooo long. A little too deep! But I really don't care what people back home, or what people here think about me. I am done worrying about that and keeping so many things pent up inside of me. In Madison I was confined to a little mold because I was so scared about what everyone around me would think... I only told a few people what I was really feeling. I'm just making the first step of breaking out of that mold and trying to find out who I am, and what I'm supposed to do in life. So I guess... read more and find out what happens???
My life is a situational comedy.
... and now- random pictures
Ich bin sehr Stolz auf dich. Wirklich. Du bist schon sehr anderes, als wir erste kennengelernt haben. Aber ich LIEBE wer du bist. Bleib so. Und vergessest nicht, dass ich immer da für dir bin.
I want a "like" button like is on facebook...
My life is a situational comedy.
-Best sentence ever!