I know it sounds crazy... but I think this whole "foreign exchange" thing might actually happen! And by might actually happen, I mean
is going to happen- TOMORROW! (9 hours approximately)
If I had to describe what I am feeling right now I would say this: akhfsatpoalk thewjs;D 9359%*( KASJDSETY JK BE0-2567.
By that I mean... There are no words. It is the most intense variations of emotions... I don't even know where or how to start. I'm happy, but sad. I'm excited, but afraid. Most of all, I am anxious. I am in disbelief that this whole... "thing" that I've been preparing for and dreaming about for months and months and months... is actually happening- Okay enough with whats running through my brain right now! I don't even know how to make sense of it so there's no use in me trying to explain it through writing!
I know that last post I said that my last week in America would "fly by" but I was totally unprepared for the flying. It FLEW! I don't even know where it went! I spent my last days hanging out all day with my friends ! We didn't really do anything crazy or out of the ordinary... just typical summer nights!
Today I woke up suprisingly early and finished my packing. It was kind of hard to pack before today because I still needed clothes to wear, so it was really nice to have everything finally packed this morning! I have all of my papers ready, I have my travel documents, and I have lots of EUROS... which are sooo colorful by the way!
During the daytime I drove all around town and visited my closest friends to say goodbye! It was awesome to be able to see all of them one last time! For dinner I went home to my family where I enjoyed one last American meal.... Steak Fajitas! hahaha... Americanized Steak Fajitas... which were DELICIOUS! I'm going to miss my mom's nachos and guacamole! I also will miss the AMAZING meals my mom makes every single night (the salad MMmm) and dinner as a family in general! ( the constant noise??? haha maybe) After dinner, my family went to ColdStone for dessert and yeah... now I am home.
These months of preparation have been pretty crazy. I remember way back to the beginning of everything and it seems like an eternity ago. The funny thing is, I haven't even started yet! I have so much to look forward to! I'm not sure how much I will update when I am in Germany... I don't have a computer so it depends on what my host family has access to. I WILL have a journal however, which I plan to keep up on pretty religiously. My goal is to update a few times a month but I really have NO idea! I'll be sure to update when I get there and how the first week is going!
So I guess... Here we go! This is going to be quite a year!
Thanks for reading!
Well technically I leave in basically 6-day (ish) because its Thursday night... and I leave next Thursday morning, but I thought I'd just write a few things about what I'm up to because stuff like this was always the part I was most curious about 6 months ago... weird I know! Well for future reference- This time is not exciting AT ALL! It is more like prolonged pain! Now that the last week in the USA is here I don't really know what to do with myself! I feel like I should be doing something... BIG! But I find myself doing the same thing everyday... just hanging out with my friends. hanvin fun. goofin off. doing random stuff teenagers do. The two other outbounds to Germany in my district are already there and settled in. One flew in on the 10th and the other has been there since the 31st of JULY!!! Thats like THREE weeks! craziness! I know that this week will fly by and before I know it I'll be getting on the plane but to tell you the truth waiting is getting really OLD! But I guess I've waited for roughly 270 DAYS... so I can wait 6 more.
Speaking of everything being proolllooonnngggeeeddd I hate the whole goodbye thing! I never know if I'm going to see certain people again before I leave so I don't know whether to say goodbye or to not say goodbye... Its just really awkward because if I say goodbye to someone then that means I'm not going to be hanging out with them before I leave... but thats awkward because I'm still here for 6 more days... and what if I ran into them sometime before I leave and then was like, "just-kidding... goodbye for real now!"
.... okay I'm 98% positive that didn't make sense but it does in my head!
So yes... I'm not having a goodbye party because I figured the people I really want to say goodbye to, I'm sure as hell going say goodbye to! I guess its just not ME to invite a bunch of people over for the sole purpose of saying goodbye to me! I'm leaving for a YEAR people.. not my whole life!!! Its not like I'm never going to see everyone here again! I'll be back for senior year.
Other than goodbyes I'm just livin my life. I am realizing how amazing summer is! I love being able to sleep- in and fall asleep however late I want. I love being able to eat what I want. Go on the internet when I want. text or call when I want. drive when I want. talk when I want. Basically do anything when I want. This isn't to sound spoiled or anything but I'm just really appreciating what I have here in Madison before I have to go to Berlin and start over from square one.
wow... so this post was meant to be a paragraph or two! Obviously I think too much- but you know that already! I'll try to be a bit more cohesive from now one ;)
psssttt-- the real reason why I'm writing this post is because I had 31 posst in total... which is NOT an even number! and I know how much that upsets you Lindsay Quella (aka- coolest friend in the world) So I wrote another one! YAY FOR 32!
HOW'S THIS FOR A SHOUT-OUT????
Wayyyy back in the winter months... when I was waiting and waiting and waiting for any scrap of information about foreign exchange- I would always read the blogs of American outbounds and it would make me feel so much better and get me excited about the future! Most of all, I liked to read about all the stuff going on BEFORE the exchange because it was the stage I was going through at that very moment! Now don't get me wrong, exchanges themselves were very interesting to read about, but I always liked reading about when everyone found out their host family or found out their city/country! Something I really wanted to know about was WHAT goes on in the few weeks prior to the exchange, because most of the blogs I read would have a post in July about getting plane tickets, then the next post would be at the end of August and they would be like, "I'M IN MEXICO!"So this is random, but I've always wondered
...WHAT HAPPENS IN THAT MONTH???
Now I know...
So I have all of my information. I'm not waiting for a VISA, plane ticket, departure date, host family, host rotary club, or guarantee forms. I am now waiting for my departure date itself, August 20th, which is 13 DAYS AWAY!!! Let me tell you... It is so strange to go from looking forward to receiving information for nearly 9 months... then suddenly have all of it and now you look forward to actually leaving the country!
So I talked to my host parent about picking me up from the airport and everything! They're all very excited and want to bring the dog! We also talked about taking care of all the legal issues in the first few days I'll be there... my host mom is so on top of everything which it awesome. As of right now... I'm kind of wondering where the summer went. It went by SO FAST... yet at the same time it was so slllooowww. I remember when I had like 80 days left. Anyways..I'm slowly starting to pack (mostly winter things)... and I finally went downtown a few days ago and bought everyone in my host family a gift :)
There isn't a day that goes by I don't think about exchange. I can't believe at the end of the month I will be starting school in Germany. I will have a new home. new room. new dog. new friends. new family.... thats pretty exciting.
A WORD OF ADVICE TO EXCHANGE STUDENTS: BEWARE of CALENDAR STARING- calendar staring gets very addictive. Once you turn you calendar to the month of your departure... you will stare at it... for a very long time- periodically throught the day. and night.
Summer is in full swing! It has been absolutely amazing so far. I'm trying to just live in the moment and enjoy all the people, places, smells, noises, food, and all the other things that are normal to me here in Madison. I know that on several occasions next year I'm going to miss this place (as crazy as it sounds) so I'm really really trying to make this summer the best summer EVER! haha... that goes without saying- AHHH LESS THAN 2 MONTHS!!! I"M LEAVING IN 59 DAYS! (yes I do have a countdown) Its so FAR AWAY... but close in a way!!! It's so hard to wait like this! I've only been on summer break for ONE week. Just ONE! So much has happened in this week! Its crazy! I feel like I've been on summer break forever. It seems like Berlin is just a dream.. and this whole exchange thing will always be this date far, far away and I'm never going to say goodbye to my friends, I'm never going to board that plane, I'm never going to go to a different school, and never going to learn a new language... it all seems too good to be true.
I mean lets face it...
-I registered 2 months later than the deadline
-I never had to worry about being "accepted"
-I was given a country in my top 5
-I found out my district super early!
-I'm going to a world class CITY!
-My host family seems awesome
-I'm going to top-notch school
... and the list goes on! It seems like all these amazing things are happening to me... and like I said.. it seems way to good to be true. Doesn't it seem too good to be true???
I've never felt this way before! It seems like... in 56 days I am doing something with my life. I'm not doing what normal teenagers do. I'm actually DOING something. I'm moving away from everything that I have- and going somewhere where I have nothing! I'm starting OVER! As geeky as it sounds... I'm going on an adventure. But to tell you the truth- I'm getting really nervous that something's going to happen that is going to stop me from going there. I know it sounds stupid but seriously- I'm nervous that I'm going to break a bone or something and not be able to go. I'm also really really really nervous about flying. Before you all start laughing HEAR ME OUT! I have flown on a decent number of flights! I've been to California a couple times, and I've been to Central America three times. So that's a lot for me. Basically around 10-15 times that I've taken off and landed. Every single time that I fly... my fear of flying gets worse and worse! I HATE FLYING! Plane crashes are my number #1 fear! I know the statistics... I know that its the safest way to travel... but it is my worst nightmare- Literally!
Last night I had a dream I was flying to Germany and I was up in the air... I was finally feeling a little safe- then BAM! the plane started to veer off to the left! And everything started to shake! I tried to bend over in the fetal position but my seatbelt was off for some reason... and I tried to stay in my seat but the plane was shaking so hard. And then next thing I knew I looked up and a huge piece of the plane's ceiling ripped off and I started getting sucked up and I was banging into all the chairs and over-head bins... and everyone was screaming... and I hit my head and everything went black! I'm pretty sure I died! But then... I woke up and thought it really happened and that I was a survivor or something, then I thought I was in heaven, then I realized it was a dream and just sighed a HUGE sigh of relief. Pheww. It was one of the scariest and most vivid dreams I've ever had!
Well this is basically the stage that I'm at right now! My departure date is drawing closer and closer (Some people are leaving as early as mid-July)! I'm definitely looking forward for July 9th- that's when the Grand Rapids conference is taking place at Calvin College. Its going to be SO COOL! There are going to be Inbounds, Outbounds, Rebounds! The whole SHA-BANG! Thats coming up pretty soon!!! I'm hoping that by that time I'll have my guarantee forms back- I need them so that I can send them to my travel agent and recieve my flight itinerary. Other than that... I'm pretty much set! I'm ready... or am I?
